It's All in Your Head

The amount of times I have asked myself “Why is this happening to me?" since May 2017 is countless. The feeling of being lost. Feeling alone even though I was surrounded by a support system of family, friends, and medical professionals who all would be there for whatever I needed. An unbelievable amount of anxiety and stress hit me at once while being told I had ESRD (End Stage Renal Disease) and would need a transplant. I was overwhelmed with shock, followed by a multitude of emotions when I heard this news along with being told that I would have died within 24 hours if I did not go to the ER when I did from cardiac arrest. Of course I had dealt with anxiety and stress in the past, but it was for reasons that were absolutely minuscule compared to facing my own mortality. Outwardly I would let everyone know that I was doing great and things were not as bad as they seemed. After being diagnosed and then released from the hospital once I was well enough to do so, I was still in Melbourne, Australia for another 2 weeks. I spent that time, not resting or booking a ticket back to the US as soon as possible. Instead, I was going to meetings with fellow hospitality professionals and other colleagues every day, even after completing my dialysis treatment in the early morning.

It was not until a week or two after I was back in Houston (where I lived at the time) sitting on a recliner watching TV one afternoon when the true weight of my situation completely enveloped me. While sitting alone, all of a sudden, the rush of emotions that hit me seemed to be twice as much as when I was in ICU and having conversations with doctors and nurses. “This is my life now” I told myself. I thought it would be a never ending routine of dialysis every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday until I received a transplant, if I ever received a transplant. My life would be spent sitting in a room with other dialysis patients, some who had been there for years, three times a week for four hours at a time. It was mentally excruciating while being physically draining. When dialysis was over, I would be exhausted and by the time my energy would return, it was time for another treatment. This is when depression took over. It got to a point where I had to take anti-depression medication, something I never thought I would ever have to do.

Fortunately, I did not stay on the medication for a lengthy period and have not needed it since. From the time I was on dialysis through my transplant on August 7, 2018, I am grateful for having a great therapist, a friend as my Nephrologist, an amazing staff at the Davita dialysis center in Sugar Land, TX, as well as the reading I was able to do regarding psychology and mental health. These things combined with having a few people I knew I could always call and/or text about anything and having family around helped me through it all. I still encounter anxiety and stress at certain moments, and definitely have had numerous internal battles over the past two years (I will elaborate on this in a future newsletter). I am not immune to overthinking or having insecurities. I still have my moments where I have to remember to slow down, to breathe. There are times where I look in the mirror and remind myself “It’s all in your head”. That being said, I know I have learned more about myself through my journey, how to better approach life, and how to utilize my energy in a manner best for me. I fully admit I am still a work in progress, but I know I am at a better place mentally than I have ever been before.

World Mental Health Day

Today is World Mental Health Day, an opportunity for people and for communities to raise awareness and improve knowledge. Good mental health is vital to our overall health and well-being. A staggering one in eight people globally are living with mental health conditions, which can impact their physical health, their well-being, how they connect with others, as well as their livelihoods. Mental health conditions are unfortunately also affecting an increasing number of adolescents and our youth. Today is a day to have a conversation about mental health and show everyone that mental health does matter. Today is a day to emphasize that it is okay to ask for help, regardless of what you are going through. Studies show that physical and mental well-being do have a major impact on each other. Illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, chronic pain, cardiovascular, respiratory or kidney disease should not be viewed in isolation from the possible mental and emotional issues of an individual. In the US, the most common category of mental health disorders are anxiety disorders. They impact approximately 40 million adults 18 and older. There are an estimated one in 10 adults who suffer from a form of mood disorder. These people live with symptoms which can disrupt their daily lives.

In the UK, a place near and dear to my heart as I was born there, a survey conducted in 2021 showed that two thirds of kidney patients experienced symptoms of depression while living with kidney disease. An alarming 27% of those surveyed said they have considered self-harm or suicide as a result of their kidney disease. Kidney Research UK took this issue to Parliament in September. Their recommendations based on their findings are:

1. The NHS must invest in expanded and improved psychosocial support for people with Chronic Kidney Disease (and other long-term conditions).

2. Integrated Care Boards in England and Health Boards in Scotland and Wales should ensure that a stepped care model of psychosocial support routinely available to everyone of all ages living with Chronic Kidney Disease in their area.

3. Renal treatment service providers should ensure all of their staff are trained, supported and supervised to identify patients’ psychosocial needs, to practice in psychologically-informed ways, and to offer low-level support and rapid onward referral where more intensive support is required.

4. Renal services should routinely assess the psychosocial health of their patients and ask regularly about the quality of psycohosocial support they are offered.

5. Government should invest more funding into research on kidney disease and mental health to increase our understanding, aid the ongoing development of services.

To read the full study along with more information about the organization, please go to their website at kidneyresearchuk.org.

Locally here in Lafayette, LA, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health) held their 16th annual NAMIWalks Acadiana 5k walk for mental health at Teurlings Catholic High School on October 7th. It is NAMI’s national signature event for raising awareness, advocacy, breaking stigma, and fundraising. The event is supported by community involvement in the form of sponsorships, donations, volunteers, and the participation of walk teams. Rose Seach of NAMI Acadiana states “The 5k NAMIWalk is the only program of its kind for mental illness in the country. Funds from events allow local affiliates to offer programs and services at no charge to anyone seeking education and support. We believe in Mental Health for All. We’re changing minds, one step at a time.” To contact your local NAMI affiliate and learn more, please visit their website at nami.org.

Do you suffer from anxiety or stress? Are you dealing with a mood disorder that is affecting your life? Have you ever spoken to anyone about this? I urge you to have that conversation today and take the necessary steps to move towards a better life. We all encounter obstacles at one point or another, and at times, it may feel as though all of these things compound and will never get better. The feeling of being stuck can seem like a hole we cannot dig ourselves out of. Talk to somebody today. That someone may be a friend or family member. If you have a fear of being judged because you are letting somebody close to you know what you are dealing with and what they will think of you, there are other avenues in which to have a conversation. You can find a therapist in your local area or ask your doctor for recommendations. There are also online platforms where you can find a therapist and have these difficult conversations in the comfort of your own home such as betterhelp.com and talkspace.com. Whichever methodology you select, what is important is that you have made the acknowledgement that there is an issue. You have made this important decision to take the first step towards changing for the better and have started the journey towards becoming your best self.

Food and Anxiety

According to an article in health.com (updated on September 27, 2023), here are a list of foods and drinks to help reduce anxiety as well as a list of foods to avoid with anxiety:

10 Foods That Can Reduce Anxiety

1. Avocados

2. Blueberries

3. Calcium Rich Foods

4. Eggs

5. Leafy Greens

6. Nuts and Seeds

7. Oranges

8. Oysters

9. Salmon

10. Turkey Breast

Drinks to Reduce Anxiety

1. Chamomile Tea

2. Fruit Juice

3. Green Tea

4. Water

Foods and Drinks to Avoid with Anxiety

1. Artificial Sweeteners

2. Caffeine

3. High Fat Foods

4. High Sugar Foods

5. Refined Carbohydrates

6. Sodas

*Be sure to speak to your doctor, nutritionist or other qualified professional about your specific dietary needs.

Please remember, I am not a medical professional, nor is any of this medical advice. I am just out here living A Kidney Life.